oh boy, why is it difficul for me to forget about u? it's just too difficult for me. even if i could, i'll eventually think of u again in days to come. why must u do this to me? what wrong have i made to u? i don't remember being rude to u or say i don't like the way u speak to me or even scold or comment about the time u always reach home. i understand u want freedom, i also do. i remember the day u say u're lucky to have me as i'm understanding and i'm willing to sacrifice my sleep time to talk to u on the phone. i'm lucky to have u too. u managed to cheer me up even when i'm down. u never fail to make me smile everyday. although we don't really have the time for each other, i really do love u. i just hope we could be back together again.

friend, i know that u hate seeing me to be with him. but, u can talk it straight to face. don't ever feel guilty with what i said to u. i just hate it if u talk behind my back. i've had enough of u and CAN U PLEASE STOP IT??? whatever i do is a problem for u. i'm close to guys can also be your problems. u just don't know me. i'm use to be in a group mixed with girls and boys. i can't help it. unfortunately, none of my current friends know about my background back in my primary school. how happy, cheerful and stress-free i am. but now, with someone like u, my life is at stake. u're the only reason if i'd go mad and u're the only person who mess up my life. even your goodfriend don't really like the way u treat her in school. u leave her behind if u're with another friend and u'll be with her if ur another friend is with her goodfriend. u hate people treating u like one but, u're treating some people like that. u have no heart for your friends...u are just someone who is SELFISH and u're living in a world of your own. wake up ok.

Lurve,
---

Labels: think about it

♥A @ 00:36

today didn't go to school. can't wake up from bed. even worse than before. my backbone is damn pain. just now go to JP and was waiting for a friend at the bustop when i saw Aisyah in the bus and we waved at each other. i go JP as i need to find my camp stuffs. dad gave me 45bucks to buy the stuffs and uncle gave me 20bucks. in the end, the thing doesn't fit me and i buy my other stuffs. i just reach home and dee to go out in a while's time. to buy some more stuffs as i forget to buy it just now. so tired to go out.

anws, it's over between me and boyfriend. but however, i hope we are still friends. i will still be understanding and will always care for u. sorry for the msg that i send to u. it wasn't on purpose. i was really sick ytd and mad to everyone. really sorry dear.

tmr ATC and i've yet to pack. need to pack today and borrowed my uncle's army bag which has faded. haha. it's sth that is legend and my uncle used it for 10 years plus and still using. haha...

noodles.

Lurve,
Amalina
♥A @ 19:28

woke up late and reached school late too. cabbed to school and the driver ask ''holiday also goto school?'' i replied ya and the whole journey my earpiece is in my ear. till i reach school where a lot of primary school kids and some student councillors at the foyer. i remembered they're having a leadership camp. make my way to class and the whole class is looking at me as i'm late and it's normal for smn to be an attraction to he others if they're late. haha...everything was fine today. But, my stomach still hurts me but now, the weird thing is it's affecting my right side of my stomach. and it cause me to get body cramps. will only go to hospital after my ATC camp. need to endure this pain for 5 days. less or more. hopefully nth is wrong somewhere.

i somehow miss my boyfriend. just hoping that he's alright. just miss him so much that i will keep thinking about him at night. is this really called love? i really hope so.

i guess it's time for me to end this post here. i have lots of homeworks that need to be done before 7.30pm. mum, sis and me will be doing some shopping for my sis oversea's trip and some of my camp stuffs.

Lurve,
Amalina
♥A @ 18:35

woke up late today and was rushing for the time to go to school. finally went out at 6.45am and wait for the first transport to come. cab or bus. end up 99 came and bused to sch. reach sch and normal lessons but today i wasn't really well and just kept quiet most of the time...after school, sat with hariz at the shop opposite the school and talk with him about lots of stuffs and the irritating airplane keep fly across our heads. so noisy. went home at around 4pm. reach home, i slept till 7pm. woke up and wanted to eat but sth bad happen. i was slapped by dad and i go in my room and cried. cnt believe tt i'm crying while writting this now.

to evann, cheer up kae dear...i am always here for u. lovelove.

that's all for today.

Lurve,
Amalina
♥A @ 22:16

These pictures, i found it at my gran's house. haha...my pictures when i'm much younger. still have some in my photo albums...hope u enjoy it.




♥A @ 19:22

Heyy guyss. These are the pictures taken on the last 2 days. let's laugh together...haha...
=D.=D.=D.=D.













Lurve,
MamaLemon

Labels: just for laugh.

♥A @ 18:56

this is what i have been thinking since i chatted with my boyfriend last night. he told me someone(my friend) informed someone(his friend) about sth that no one should know. i trusted her and this is what i get in return? i did ask her if she told anything about it, she said no. now it's more complicated and i have no idea who told that someone. hope the truth will reveal soon. but until then, the fact remains. i have no more true friend. even if they're my friend, i won't tell them my secrets. my life is so fuck!! i really hate to have such friends. i rather befriend animals than humans who can't keep their fucking mouth shut!! i also dislike this person who wants to know if i'm with someone but don't tell me about her if i want to know. i'm not a fool who you can trick. this point in my life, i'm just happy to be with my family. our relation are just like before. i can joke, laugh and do anything together with my siblings. but, i can't do the same with my friends. each and every one of them have different personalithy and lucky for me, i can fit in the personality whenever i'm with each and everyone of them. that's all about this.

now is a really fucking shit thing that i tried to forget about but i can't. i hate this guy who lied to me. even after i found out the truth. i know about sth and told him that i know the truth and he said. ''we should not fight about it anymore. we should focus on the major exams.'' i really hate this guy as he is such a hypocrite and egoistic guy. i have no regrets leaving him. i really hope i can forget about him.

that's about it today. i will post the pictures taken in the past 2 days, on the next post.
noodles.

Lurve,
MamaLemon

Labels: i love my boyfriend

♥A @ 18:12

had so much fun today and yesterday. took lots of pictures today and yesterday was so pissed with my nose. but i'm still enjoying my saturday. went to ICA building to collect my sister's passport. was listening to songs all the way from lakeside until 5 numbers before my sister's queue number. my mum already walked to the counter and i'm still seating. i quickly make my way to the counter. then went off. sis wants to go and buy sth and followed her. walked in this 'deserted' block and saw this freak CHINESE UNCLE seating on a stool and was touchin his private parts. it's sort of like a flasher. it was my 2nd experience and tried to think about sth else but i can't. both experience is so FUCK especially the 1st one. don't intend to report to the police now as i'm still in a trauma even i went through it TWICE...it's a really bad experience. don't ever think of experiencing it. even if u are armed with martial arts or whatsoever, u will eventually freak out if u are not prepared to see one. went home after some shopping and still can't forget that freak old man...

at arnd 3am i wanted to sleep and my boyfriend msg me and called him for a while and went on to sleep. i miss him a lot. get to know he met with an accident. pity him...

today, woke up at 8am+ with my nose blocked and my throat sore. it was so fucking damn pain that i continued sleeping. finally woke up at 11.30am and realise that 2 of my friend msg me. replied and take a bath, eat and watch tv. then seat around and disturb my little brother who is sleeping. he woke up and played with him. very funny. very ticklish. went to gran's house and seat around and talk and watch tv. proceed to look at old albums and saw some of my pictures when i'm very small around 2-3yrs and some is when i'm p5-p6...was laughing as we look at the pictures. haha..funny...befor going home, i took some pictures. posting it when i have the time.

ends here today.

Lurve,
MamaLemon

Labels: miss my boyfriend

♥A @ 22:15

today i received two result...one is for my scan one is my 1st semester result...first i receive is the scanning result. i was glad to know that nth is found i my stomach and therefore, i'm safe. the next thing the doctor wants to carry out is a blood test on me. I heard the word blood test i freaked out and told my dad i don't want to as i'm afrais of needles. lucky for me i don't need to go for the scope thing. that's worst for a teenage girl. the doctor is giving me a last chance. she's giving me a week to see if my pain is ok. as my pain is less when i'm in school and she say i must go to school if i don't want to do the blood test. i say ok and smile. i was told to wait outside the room as the doctor wants to talk to my parents privately. i go out and waited. parents went out and i was 'crying' and telling that i don't want to do the blood test and i even told them to inform the doctor that i am fully recovered. its a lie so that i can get rid of the blood test..haha..and my dad say that the doctor is not atupid and i can't lie to her. whatever it is, i am still going for the ATC...dad must agree no matter what happens...but i'm hoping that i'm ok the 3 days there.

in the afternoon, went back to school to collect my bro's result and my report book, eventhough i don't have any MYE. i'm glad to know that i passed all my subjects except for English. My form teacher say even if i pass all subjects but not English, it's not worth the pass. English is the core subject and i am going to pick up vocabulary words everyday. my F&N teacher also say that too and also both ask about my health to my parents. they all think it's because i'm stress or is it because i'm sad in the heart or it's sth to do with my mental..i deny it as it is not true...and it is really not true. even i feel tired going to school i am not a freak who will miss school that long and it's my core year and i need to focus on my studies. i am going to aim to pass all subjects, scoring above 65 for the weak subjects and 75 for my strong subjcts. hopeto achieve it...

Below are my results:
English: 47(U)
Malay: 72(2)
Mathematics: 63(4)
Science(chem, bio): 69(3)
Combined Humanities(SS, Geography): 66.5(3)
Food and Nutrition: 65(3)
CME: B

sadly, for CCA i don't get any points. checking mith my friends...so sad...

my teacher's remark is: i demonstrates a sensible and mature attitude to school life. She can be very helpful abd dependable in the classroom.

haha...funny right?? maybe that's an honest remarks by her...and she found out that i don't want to take the blood test and she say i must go as i need to know the root cause of this pain. through scanning, some parts is not seeable...and through blood test the teeny-meeny parts is able to see...i will try to go for the blood test and hopefully i'm strong enough to it.

that's all i wwnt to share today. take care dearies.

lurve,
MamaLemon

Labels: i'm afraid to go for blood test

♥A @ 18:46

today went for the scan and go off from the school at 10.30am. met mum outside school and cabbed to NUH. waited till i'm so tired. i even cover my face with my sweater and wear my earpiece and can't hear anything. even when the nurse call for my name i didn't hear. my mum call me and the nurse ask me to drink 3 cups of water so that my bladder is full for the scan to go on. i drank and eventually it is full. only then the scan can go on. but the freaky part was the male doctor pressed hard on my stomach that is pain. it's so hard that the pain is still on. it was such a freaky scan. tmr is the result and again, will be going home at 9.30am and meet mum at somewhere which is not finalise yet...took some picture of my little brother in the hospital...below are the pictures:



tmr last day of school but there's still extra 2 weeks for the graduating classes to get ready for the national exam. that's all for today. wish me luck for my scan...noodles..

p/s: Ateeq- Dafi aku nye la...haha..jkjk...
Nana- Get well soon girlfriend

Lurve,
MamaLemon

Labels: results tmr

♥A @ 19:48

today started out quite well and today again there's no English and Malay lesson as the teacher didn't come into class. teachers are busy now due to the comming MT O level paper and the meet-the-parent session this Friday. after recess was biology and went to AVA room for lesson as the whole calss wants to. at least i managed to revise the stuffs i forgotten and after that i was so tired and during maths lesson i did my maths worksheet and in SS i really did my work as i really feel that i must really come back to my senses and STUDY regardless i am sick or not. in the end it's me who will either succeed or not.

went home straight and went to gran's home. slept for 2 hrs and woke up and eat. went home at 8pm and currently i am trying to get my focus to do my f&n decision making. third time editing it. hope to get it right this time. *finger-cross*

i'm totally stress out this time round. prelim is like less than 2 month from now and i get to know i got the 7th postion in class and 15th position in the level. passed 6 subjects and confirm i failed my English...i really don't think the teacher actually take innitiative to teach us and i totally disapprove the ide of combining classes it's too big the number and difficult to focus. most pupils have start to drift away in their own world, and i can say i am one od them too. i missed school and lesson for too long and i really hope that i could make it to Sec 5.

tomorrow is 1/2 day for me and miss geography and chemistry lesson again. this two are the ones that many people manage to score and i can't bear to fail the subjects. i hope the scan tommorrow will go on smoothly and hope the doctor manage to find the cause of my abdominal pain...

i guess thats all for today...

p/s: miera, get well soon yaarh...

Lurve,
MamaLemon

Labels: stress seh

♥A @ 21:31

gosh!!! i feel this sense in me that i miss my old primary school friends...those malay girlfriends and boyfriends that i'm so close with...they are: aishah, andrea, fauziah, roselene, arif, fitri, shahril, shaifful and hairul...still remember the days before PSLE when we were doing our self-study in class...still remember once i 'fought' with them over something and i kicked Fitri's chair and went out of the class to go toilet actually to cry...but i can't cry and nadhirah go to the toilet as the boys dared her to cry and she can't...we talk and walked back to class together...after that we are ok and carried on with studies...

remember the days we prepare for the P6 Graduation Day performance...Ms Ng told me to take charge of the attendance and i did it...what surprise me is that, my class is the only class whose performers is a big group, nearly the whole class...and i was in the singer group and there's the dancer group and that's going to be my 1st and hopefully the last time that i am going to sing into a mic in front of many people...haha...

but i'm happy that i have the pictures of my cheeky classmates but unfortunately, my digital camera is spoiled and the memory card went missing...must go and find it...i remembered putting it in a small bag and it went lost like 2-3 years ago...so sad as all of the videos and pictures of the last memories is in there...i hope to find it and manage to look at the pictures and videos...confirm ii'll be tearing like hell...no other current friends of mine can replace and they can't replace my current friend too...every friend we came across can't be replace...

to end this post, i want to say I MISS YOU GUYS ALOT!!! hope to see u guys on teacher's day this year...i hope all the memories will still be in your mind...and i am hoping that u guys wll contact with each other soon...

p/s: MamaLemon is also obtained in my primary school until now it is now attached to me...

Lurve,
MamaLemon
♥A @ 21:04

i reach school at 7.20, by then my whole class was seated nicely and Farhan ask me to seat beside Zoey and i did...lucky or i'll suffer my 2.5hrs seating at the back with the boys...they're irritating but actually they're nice to be with...i really love to have them around me, except for some...who is the PM(problem maker) i just hate PM to the core...

today was such a whore...stay in the hall for 2.5hrs seating on the hard wooden flooring...i don't mind but the very fact that my back hurts so much made me hate to seat for too long...1st was the collection of consent forms regarding edusave forms, e-learing week, letters for parents and of course declaration form...i just get to know the objective is to reduce the time taken for form teachers to chase after the students for consent forms...some pupils are just being lazy and their IRRESPONSIBLE act cause a lot of problems to those RESPONSIBLE people...the time 'wasted' on the collection and 'nagging' could be use wisely...and to my surprise, there are nearly 1/2 of Hua Yians who didn't hand in the forms with one reason and another...(without fail)

after which is a career talk by a lecturer from a polytechnic who talks about how we can find the a good career fit...it may be boring but of course it's knowledgeable...after that was a talk by a lady from some SCIC i think...sth like that who talks about Chemistry and which job we can get by learning Chemistry...of course, i feel interested because of the salary...it can make u earn a BOMB!!! haha...but importantly, to succeed in your carees life, one must choose a career that interest him/her not just because of the $$...haha...

happy to be entertain by my friends and of course...4N1 I REALLY MISS THE NOISE!!! free 2 periods...Mdm Nisha didn't came into class and the class went chaos...and took some pictures in class...below are the photos of my cute little gilrfriend (aica)...

cute right?? the rest of my girlfriends i don't manage to take their pictures....and something sad happen to one of my girlfriend...don't want to mention about it...but i'm really satisfied with her actions...no one would dare to do that to her...i salute u girl!!! anws, don't be sad ok...and do forgive the innocent ones...ok?? cheer up...i love u... *hugs & kisses* ...

ok i guess it's time for me to do my work...noodles to one and all...

p/s: i miss my boyfriend a lot...love him too!!!

Lurve,
MamaLemon

Labels: you deserve it boy...i'm so happy

♥A @ 17:19

yeah!! finally tmr can go back to school...really miss it a lot...going to wake up at 6.15am-6.30am tmr...sort of 1 hour earlier than normal...doing this as i am taking 2 bus to school...kind off convinient to me rather than waiting for 99 bus to arrive which will take a long time to arrive...peak hours and that number of bus?? IMPOSSIBLE for many people to reach on time even if they reach the stop early...but it just waste the time of people waiting...it could be as long as 10-15mins...really impossible...

i receive an sms from a friend at noon time and guess what? i just woke up ok...due to sleeping late last night as i played my SIMS game till 4.30am in the wee hours...haha..the game is SUPER DUPER DAMN FUN!!!! going to play it again at night...ok, lets get back to the sms i received. i get to know someone accuse me of criticising the person in my blog...can anyone tell me have i ever criticise anyone??? like i said, all of my posts have got nothing to do with anyone...but for this someone case, i really did not criticise about u...and please stop accusing me for the things that i don't do...i really hate it...and this is the final warning to that someone...STOP ACCUSING ME and STOP SAYING NONSENSE STUFFS TO ME...or you'll get it from me...i don't care what's going to happen...

p/s: i miss my girlfriends and finally we're meeting tmr...yea!!!haha...i really miss my boyfriend(please contact me asap...thanks)and of course, MySpecialOne, i miss u too...thanks for making me laugh with all your funny sms-es..haha..

Lurve,
MamaLemon

Labels: school..i'm comming...haha

♥A @ 19:14

today woke up at 11.30 as Ateeq call me up to ask me out to watch malay movie titled 'Ayat Ayat Cinta' in English i think it is Sentences of Love...*unsure*...sorry girl!! i was busy today and i'm also lazy to go out this few days so, don't bother to ask me out...haha...

ate Nasi Lemak nice and the rice is too much for me...but the Sambal is not that spicy..haha..LOVE it!!! mom asked me to drink this Barley drink the whole day (drink while watching tv, usuing the computer and eating too!!) i hate it as it is not sweet and complained to her. She added a little sugar and at least it tastes BETTER than before.. i need to drink it warm not cold...and it's home made one not the can Barley drink...

anw, i love this SIMS game in my phone...it is so fun...addicted to it!!! haha..but sadly, dad borrowed my phone as he needs to do sth with it...*tearing*...i can't bear to let it go!!!haha...lol!!!

lalalalalalalalalalalalalala...i'm doing nth to this posts but just scribble...lalalalalalalalala
lalalalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalalalalalalalalalala

haha...stop it la seh AMALINA!!!! i'm super duper damn bored la...tmr no school...PUBLIC HOLIDAY!!! boring!!!!! i miss school la...hmmm...miss it a lot la...can die you know...haha...miss my GIRLFRIEDNS, BOYFRIEND and MySpecialOne...

Lurve,
MamaLemon

Labels: i'm mad

♥A @ 15:57

My last bro

swimming??




does my sis looks older than me? most people say so...but, i'll leave it for u people to decide...haha...trust your eyes and trust me...

lurve,
MamaLemon

Labels: take care peoples

♥A @ 23:06

heyy there people, just want to update you guys out there...please do re-link me and update me if you change your blog link...Oh ya, do tag me too....haha

to all my girlfriends who have tagged me, thanks a lot ya...appreciate it...i miss you girls la!!! must go back to school on Tuesday...monday public holiday!! haha...



HAPPY advance VESAK DAY!!!

i change my link due to some problems faced by my friend...hope you guys don't mind that...this must be done asap ok!!! thanks ya...love you all...going to kiss you guys la...(if you want ask it from me...haha)



p/s: re-link me and update me about you too ok!!!

Lurve,
MamaLemon

Labels: re-link me ok...thanks

♥A @ 22:54

i will go for shopping by next week...haha...i love it as i have lots of suff to buy...so happy upon buying my new phone...next is i need to buy my personal stuffs...i hope my scanning will go smoothly as i really want to go for my ATC on 30 May to 1st June...told dad and he don't allow me to go due to my condition...Damn!!! it's going to be my last ATC...next year (hopefully) we are going for HRC haha...going twice...just hoping...haha...it's so thrilling getting to do flying fow and climb up a log that is 4 storey high and when we reach the top, we need to grap a pole; it's like a gymnastic horizontal short pole....So exciting and i want to go again...but firstly, i'm hoping to go for my ATC...very important...

gtg now as i want to go out later at night...haha...so FUN as FINALLY my room and wardrobe is tidied...haha...thanks to bro(Hafiz) who tidied my room and also went to shop to buy some snacks and sis(Hafizah) who tidied my wardrobe...Thanks alot eh!!

p/s: i miss my boyfriend(MyLoveOne), girlfriends and MySpecialOne alot!!!!! going to see my girlfriends on Tuesday only if i go to school...want to meet my boyfriend soon...MySpecialOne im unsure....haha...

Lurve,
MamaLemon

Labels: W580i is loved...

♥A @ 17:50

today started off with having such a sharp pain on my back...woke up at 10am finally and get ready for my 2nd appointment. The appointment was ok, only that my pain gets worse. Affect my kidney and thus, i need to go for a kidney and abdomen scan next Thursday. Friday is my 3rd appointment. If my pain still continues, and nothing can be found with the scan i might probably be admitted and will go for a scope...so scared...but Mrs Chin tell me to be BRAVE...anws, i bought a new phone...haha...W580i model...so happy but it's a little slow than my W200i...but I LOVE MY NEW PHONE!!!

gtg...bye

Lurve,
MamaLemon

Labels: happy

♥A @ 23:34

Really miss them...not-to-be-forgotten memories...

Labels: bf and school, miss my gf

♥A @ 22:22

i'm so tired...woke up at 4.30pm today...still have not forget about yesterday...cried at Clinic A as the nurse ask me to go home and make an appointment, i was so pissed off and told mum i really can't stand the pain...the nurse suggest us to go to the A&E...what makes me pissed is that the nurse say we must make an advance appointment. But, my doctor say if i can't stand the pain, i can just come to the clinic to see any doctor if she's not around...i'm so freaking pissed off and cried...

lucky at the children's emergency the queue is not long...1 thing i hate is i need to check my blood pressure and this machine squeeze my arm that makes it so pain that it lasted the whole day...then i was given this cup written 'URINE SPECIMEN'. I need to collect my urine so they could make a urine test for me...not long, my doctor call me..so shock as it is a male doctor...OMG!!! haha...he say i nid togo for an x-ray...and i went...the nurse ask me to change to the x-ray kimono suit...i changed and went for the x-ray...evrything was noraml but the urine test was abnormal and must do another one and same...the doctor send to the lab for further test and it's finally normal...

finally can go home...get a new medicine and 3D MC...haha...so sad...this week only 1D i came to school...hmm...

thats all for today...

Lurve,
SleepyHead

Labels: tired

♥A @ 21:17

OMG!!! i'm going to the hospital in a minute, i hope it go smoothly...my friends has been supporting me from behind...again i didn't go to school again. Actually i wanted to go to school but the pain is too unbearable for me and that makes me impossible to wake up and make my way to the toilet...

This morning really sucks!!! Mom woke me up a couple of times and i didn't wake up as i was too sleepy and the unbearable pain is still there...it gets worse and worse and even worse!!! She actually shouted at me as i have yet to wake up...i check watch and it's only 8.52am...i planned to wake up at 9am...i'm am too frustrated that i told her ''u didn't feel the pain i'm feeling right now. It's so impossible for me to wake up that fast.'' i said that and cried...then i force myself out of bed and take a bath...i'm finally ready and now waiting for dad to get ready...Freak man...i don't like to wait for him, as he always take HIS OWN SWEET TIME...as if he owns the time...

to all my good friends; Nana, Evann, Ateeq, Aica, Mel, Faz , Deeli, Tikos, Miera and Fad...who have been supporting me all this while, cheer me up and draw a smile on my face everyday without fail...(so sweet right?? haha) I LOVE YOU GUYS...espcially my syg(Evann), thanks for your concern...i'm going to miss u girl!! to all of my good friends again, do take care of your health...BE IN THE PINK OF HEALTH!!! Finally, i'm going to miss you girls!!! hope to see you girls on Friday...

p/s: boy, i hope u're feeling better now...i'm really sorry for what i had said to you ytd...and to MySpecialOne, sorry i didn't reply your sms ytd...i slept and forgotten all about my handphone..

Lurve,
SleepyHead

Labels: Nervous

♥A @ 10:01

i feel like you're hurting my feelings...can't u just get over with small matter like that?? i can understand you but why can't you??? i don't want us to fight just because of such teeny-meeny matter like that...i love you and loving you make me to just keep my mouth shut as i don't want our relation to end...i hope it will not end and we'll be friends forever...do you know that i have been waiting for this relation to be build all this while?? you never fail to make me smile and laugh whenevr we're chatting on the phone...you make me feel fresh even when i woke up in the middle of the night to talk on the phone with you...

is this the way u should treat me?? i think its totally unfair to me...u off your phone and make it impossible for me to contact you...at least tell me my mistake and not to just dissapear like that...my life is going to be empty if u're not with me...i feel like you're treating my feelings like a piece of paper...but i hope it's not true...if i have the chance to ask, i'll ask this: do you really love me?

that's it...all is in your hand now...you can do anyting and i'll accept it...

lurve,
SleepyHead
♥A @ 22:56

i can't believe that yesterday i slept at 7pm and woke up at 11.30pm and continue sleeping from 2.30am onwards...my battery is so flat that untill now it's not recharged yet...a terrible night i had...i was so sick that i didn't eat my dinner...i didn't manage to go to school today and yea, didn't get to go for the little excursion and especially i can't create my game...i must put double effort when i come back to school tmr...

i gtg now...

Lurve,
SleepyHead

Labels: so sick

♥A @ 11:39

Ku terluka

Terluka,
Ku terseksa
Tidak terkata,
Kini ku pasrah
Gagal dalam bercinta
Buat kali pertama
Pedihnya jiwa
Batin terseksa
Peritnya terasa
Hati diseksa
Hidupku hilang erti
Tiada makna

Hampanya,
Diri rasa terhina
Dikau mempersenda
Diriku yang leka
Ku bercinta membuta
Kini musnah segalanya

Terhina,
Diri terasa
Didusta,
Hati terasa
Mengapa?
Dikau berbuat sedemikian
Menghancurkan diriku dan segala harapan

Benci,
Cintaku kau khianati
Dikau pergi bersama si gadis misteri
Marah,
Diriku kesal
Kesal kerna ku jatuh ke tanganmu
Kesal kerna ku tertipu oleh kata-katamu

Yang dikatakan madu,
Rupanya sepahit hempedu
Yang dikatan cinta,
Rupanya hanya tinggal kata sahaja

Hilang erti
Tiada makna
Segala madah
Hanya seindah kata
Memori kita
Yang ku ingati
Ingin dilupai
Untuk selama-lamanya
Kerna ku tahu
Memori kita tiada maknanya
Kerna ku tahu
Dikau hanya bersandiwara

Pergilah
Pergilah kamu
Pergilah bersama si gadis misteri
Tidak ku mahu
Melihat wajahmu
Wajahmu yang penuh khianat dan benci
Walau sekali
Tidak inginku
Berpaling padamu lagi

Berakhirlah
Drama dan sandiwara
Pentas cinta hilang hangatnya
Kini tinggal rasa jijik dan hampa
Hatiku yang terluka
Menjadi nisan
Kubur cinta kita

-Indrato Marcello

i received this poetry from Indra a while ago...thanks for crearing this for me...what you created tell so much about my feelings sometime last month when i'm seperated with this guy...it hurts so much but what to do...he did admit his fault..but didn't really impact me...i feel no regret leaving you...

credits to Indra(senior)...want a translation or want to roughly know about the poetry, approach or ask me in my tagboard...Thanks.

Lurve,
SleepyHead

Labels: i can forgive you but i can't forget what you did to me..

♥A @ 17:14

Evann, thanks for your companion and you advises. I really appreciate it especially when i'm down, you make me smile. Nothing can describe how much i appreciate your deeds and it's hard to find a friend like you. You are my sayang, my girlfriend and my everything. You mean a lot to me. I learn a lot of things from you. I won't forget all the memories we had together. You really change me as a person since you are close with me. You're a friend i wish i could get from the day i see the world. Once again, a heartious thanks deep from my heart for you. Happy 16th Birthday. lovelove.

This quotes are for you:

1. Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
2. A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.
3. Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
4. Most people walk in and out of you life. But only friends leave footprints in your heart.

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being a part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you're down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry. You have a forever friend, and forever has no end.

With that, i'll end my post specially for my special friend who means a lot to me. Happy Birthday Evann...

Lurve,

SleepyHead

Labels: just for you

♥A @ 16:22

i reach my usual place normally, only that my friends are not there and i thought that i was too early...i took 2 bus to school today as i missed the 6.40am 99 bus...i don't want to waste my time waiting for the bus, i took 246 and alight at Lakeside station and took 187 to go to school...both the buses were super damn silent...not really use to it as 99 is always quite noisy as there is morning news from CNA at the TV Mobile...

maybe starting from tmr onwards i'm going to take 2 bus to school...its convinient as i'm using this bus stamp thingy and yarh, no waste of $$...only will it be a waste of $$ if i don't make use of it....lol!!

i feel weird wearing my school uniform today...it seems long and big for me...i don't lose weight though...weirh huh??

well, today was super damn fun and fabulous day in school...although it started of boring i find that it is fun when we get the chance to create and play our own game...oh ya, 4NA students is having this game development programme going on this whole week for 4 days except Thursday...no school on that day...anw, i created 2 of my own game; 1 is basic ball game and 1 is maze game...kind of snake game..haha...may seem lame but i love creating the game and get to play it too...

i was super duper damn stress creating the game as we need to do lots of stuffs before the game is a success...therefore, i learn to appreciate all types of games as it is difficult to create it especially those actions, simulations, etc. types...it can take days to finish it...overall, the thing was quite fun...

tmr going Orchard Cineleisure if i'm not wrong...for the game thingy again...looking forward to it...Gosh!!! i can't forget about this: i didn't finish up my food during recess as the dish is too spicy and my stomach can't take in anymore food...

before i forget...

HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED GIRLFRIEND, EVANN...
wish you all the best in your life and hope you succeed in life!!!

Lurve,
SleepyHead

Labels: Happy Birthday Evann Sayang

♥A @ 16:00

yesterday was such a great, fun and funny day...went to aunt's house at Bedok and sort of celebrate Mother's Day for my grandmother. Cut the cake, eat and chat... we chatted about our uncle's reaction when he was in the hospital after he met with an accident. His reaction was so funny that we laugh like mad. Now than i knnw that my uncle can't stand pain as he is afraid that his wife will clean the wounds harshly...we continue to laugh and laugh...than me, aunt and cousin went into my cousin's room to try some outfits and take some bags...we laugh as one outfit is very funny...it's like a tutu that's used for ballet dancing...haha...

finally went home...i watched a malay movie in my room...a sad movie, about a boy who feels humiliated about his mother who lose one eye and work at his school as a cleaner...he don't dare to admit that she's his mom...untill he succeed in life, his mom went to visit him at his home based on the address she get from the magazine with her son's photo on it...sadly, he stare at her who is standing in front of his big gate...suddenly, his mom step behind and say she probably get the wrong house and went away...few weeks later, he received an invitation from his old school to attend an Alumni gathering...he went back to his village, the place he was born and was raised...

Upon reaching, the door and windows were all close...he step in the house and call for his mom, but to no avail there is no respond...his neighbour came an told him that his mom has passed away after she came back from visiting him...''your mom told me that her with lots of delicious food...is it true?'' his neigbour say and ask him too... he just stood rooted to the ground and went to his car to go back to KL...his old friend call for him before he managed to open the door...he passed a letter to him and told him that it was fromhis mother, she wrote it before she is gone..

He read the letter and found out that when he was young he met with an accident and lost an eye. His mother can't bear to see him to grow up with only one eye and donated her's to him...he was so shocked and read till the end and felt sorry or his mother and regret what he had done to his mom...

i cried in the end...i learnt that a mother would do anything even something that risk her life, for her children...so friends, please appreciate what you mom has done for you...

i didn't sleep the whole night as i was waiting for a friedn of mine to go home from his activity, so we could talk and crap the whole night...it was fun getting to chat with him...he say something about me that make him fall in love for me...haha..it was sweet...

finally slept at 5.45am after something weird happen...i heard weird voice from my window...i was so scared that i asked my dad to check if there's anyone outside my window...but there's no one...impossible, as i heard a short humming sound...i freaked out and forced myself to sleep...

to end today's post, i want to wish all mother a very Happy Mother's Day...especially my mom. thanks for all that you've done for me. i really appreciate that.

Lurve,
SleepyHead

Labels: fun indeed

♥A @ 18:17

absent again...1/3 of the reason is i don't have enough sleep and 2/3 of the reason is my stomach hurts like mad...woke up at 11 and slept again and finally woke up at 2pm...bathe, eat and watch tv...

last night watch TV3 till 3+ am in the middle of the night...a lot of nice movies...can't wait for appointment tmr...hope it's nth serious... *finger-crossed*

i'll be starting to study everyday after school...only if i have nth on...my attendance is so bad nowadays and my malay teacher ask why i didn't come to school oftenly...i can't do anithing...

that's it for to day...

SpecialOne, i miss and i love you...

Lurve,
SleepyHead
♥A @ 20:16

woke up at 5.45am and told mum that i can't go to school as my stomach is so pain...didn't go to doctor as i was on medication and my freak appointment is on Friday...must wait...i was tired that i slept till 2pm and dream some funny stuffs...hope its going to happen...ffeling a dejavu once in a while is ok...but not a bad one...today was simply bored...after i bathed, i eat, watch tv and eat, watch tv, sms and now on computer...too boring but for my situation it's relaxing and my stomach doesn't really hurts...

that's all for today...

i miss my SpecialOne!!!

Lurve,
SleepyHead
♥A @ 21:18

damn sleepy today...slept for only 1 hr, as i was bitten by mosquitos last night and didn't have a pleasant sleep...my eyes was smaller than normal today...nearly sleep during English lesson, thanks to Faz who talk and ask me numerous questions...make me not sleepy...had practical today and we bake OREO CHEESECAKE...i did sth that make me feel embarass...i blast the cake mixer and the cheese splattered all around my table..haha...i thought that i am swithching it off, instead i blast it off...haha...it was a success and Farid n Farhan ate my cheesecake around 4-5 piece...(small piece)...anyone who wants to eat cheesecake, tell me..i'll bake it for you...seriously...

Oral was so fun...reading was fine in e beginning and my words start to 'cut into pieces' nearing the end...Picture Description was quite well done...and Conversation was so INTERESTING and FUN and i did a great job...i am satisfied with my English Oral not with my Malay Oral...

after oral most of the malay students sat at the study table outside the bookshop and talk crap and laugh and joke and think of funny thing for the peribahasa...malay proverb i think...really had fun...hop it will happen again...

went home and slept for 1 hr...wake up and get ready for night study with Fad and Faz...i was sleepy and did a some of my maths questions...went home at 9.30pm and eat and now on the com...

till here for today...

p/s: MySpecialOne, good luck for your papers tmr...hugs & kisses from me to you...

Lurve,
SleepyHead

Labels: it was a success

♥A @ 22:50

i'm FREAKING PISSED OFF with the fact that my friend went out with him...it doesn't matter actually...what matter is, she is lying to me...i could feel that she have feelings for him...no one could lie to me...hmm...i was so shock that she didn't even ask me along...her reason is: ''you are unwell that's why i didn't inform you...'' her reason is still ok...but...nvm...it hurts to see your close friend having close relationship with someone who you once love...

Thank you evann(syg) who never fail to cheer me up...i love you...lol..

I find that the last period for today is very interesting, interactive and fun...we have to give our friends our paper so that they could write about us... title: What my friend thinks about me...

my paper is totally full...both pages are used up...some remarks make me laugh...and many people say i am friendly, caring and helpful...haha...but Aica's remark really made me laugh...she says '' Amalina is a cute girl who have chubby cheeks and she resemble Winnie The Pooh...'' it really made me laugh...haha...Hariz say that i am a teacher's pet...OMG!! am i??

tmr for practical we're baking Oreo Cheesecake!! finally...haha..i helped the class to buy the main ingredients: Philadelphia Cheese and Oreo biscuit...haha...can't wait for tmr...craving for Oreo Cheesecake...i rather waste $$ to buy the ingredients and bake it myself, rather than but it at some posh shops...haha...

planning to cook and do some stuffs during the June holidays and invite my old friends and new friends to come over and EAT , SOCIALISE, etc...still planning...hope it really going to be planned adn will be a successful one...

Tmr EL ORAL!!! wish me luck...get to know this just now...last minute...hmm..hope to do it well...Wish me luck for my PRACTICAL too!!!

p/s: SpecialOne, i really love you...you are missed too...hugs and kisses from me to you...
Syg, thanks for cheering me up...i love your company in school...

Lurve,
SleepyHead

Labels: pissed?? happy...

♥A @ 21:50

followed my mum to a wedding again...it was held around my old area...i miss the place so very much!! my mum's friend thought that i am the 2nd child...i do look younger than my 2nd sis...GREAT!! she looks so matured and people always think that she is the 1st and i am the 2nd...haha...

let me tell you people out there!! i am young inside and outside...haha!!

but seriously, if you want to look young, you just need to do the following:

1. don't think too much
2. smile always
3. mix around with people younger than you
4. and...always think that you are young!!!

hope this helps...i do feel stress, sad, annoyed, angry and everything, but i don't really show that as i don't want anyone to be hurt...why on Earth do i talk about this??

went to 2 weddings today then head home and slack whole day...i took some pictures as i am FREAKING bored...i seriously cannot study and focus with my sunjects...the pain is DAMN teribble...

p/s: My SpecialOne, i really miss and love you very much.

love,

SleepyHeadAmalina

Labels: damn pain

♥A @ 18:41

today is so boring that i made up my mind to follow my mom to go to a relative's wedding...At there, met some relatives and met this relative of mine who is tall and good-looking(so long didn't meet him)...haha...remembered the old times when we are close...his family used to sleep at my house...we played together like siblings, and now when we meet, we don't even say ''hi''...i was in so much pain, and i put on the sour face of mine and smile less of the time...i am so fucked up with this aunty who is so irritating and i just feel like shouting to her telling her to SHUT UP!!! so fucking IRRITATING!!

Dad told me that my appointment will be on Friday at 11am...i guess i go to school in as per normal and go home during recess time,or if i really cannot wake up in the morning, i don't go to school...ive missed quite a lot in school, but i am lucky to have such good friends who always update me about what happens in school. Thank you friends...

waiting for my $$...once i get it, i have a lot of things to settle...such as:

1. birthday presents
2. my personal items
3. go shopping

but of course, i need to save the $$ for future use...lol...i hate to take eat the medicine i need to eat, there is no change if i eat it or i don't...my pain is only adding on...so FUCKED UP with the pain...

till here for today...

p/s: -thanks to everyone out there who is always by my side.

i love my SpecialOne...hugs and kisses to him...

love,

SleepyHeadAmalina

Labels: fucked up

♥A @ 23:49

so freak out tt i am refered to the hospital to consult a specialist for my complicated stomach pain...totally freaked out!!! e news was out to my mly grl frens and ya, some asked if i'm okae...i'm okae bt i jz cnt focus to do anitink i love to as im totally affected wif the complications in my stomach...hope nth bad happens...i'm waiting nervously 4 my appointment date to go hopspitals...cnt believe its me...i usually accompany my family to hospitals, bt nt its my turn...omg!!! i cnt believe tt i will be going to hospitals to check..

Mrs Chin called me n advise me to take care of my health...hmm...she's totally right...i've went through 4 yrs of education n waiting 4 e tyme to take my N levels...cnt afford not to go to sch...hmm...my pain is began to worsen...till 2dae, i took 8 different types of medicine tt was changed 4 times wen i go to see a doctor...my stomach will burst sooner if i e medicine is still changing...hmm...sob2...

tts all 4 2dae...tk cre evryone..hmm....

Labels: so pain....

♥A @ 21:46

ytd abesent and went to e doc...waited 4 1 hr as it was lunch time....after tt its my turn...den waited 4 30mins to consult a doc...so irritating and im damn cold...hmm...i reach at 3+pm and slept 4 3 hrs wif my lil bro...i was in pain and decided to slip as no one's home...at nite...i sms-ed wif MySpecialOne...he was so crazy last nite...sms-ed till 12am +...and den i slept...tis morn i woke up at 7am+ and sms him...(a routine)...i'm so frustrated wif e stupid mosquito tt owaes bite me wen i'm sleeping peacefully...hmm...

now, i'm getting ready to go to aunt's hse for sth...(so last minute)...i dun tink i'm able to go to sch tmr...OMG!! jz rmbered...i hef yet to eat my med..haha...

till here...tk cre ppl!!!

Lurve,
SleepyHeadAmalina

p/s: dear, thnx 4 evrything..im will take care of u...hugs n kisses frm me to u.... :D

Labels: in pain

♥A @ 16:31